The Gnostic Church of L.V.X.

Depression and Enlightenment


Paul Joseph Rovelli

For each of us there is a facet of our psyche that remains totally gullible. This is a weakness for which we must maintain a constant vigilance. In the spiritual community this leads to many abuses as there are profit sharks who seek to make money by pretending to be wise to those individuals seeking spiritual rapture to counter the pain of their morbid existence. Indeed this is in many cases the primary motivator to spiritual work; the pain of life. The most effective provocateur in this regard are those events that happen to us that cause the most extreme psychic trauma. 

How do we deal with this psychic trauma? Krishnamurti would say simply not to reflect upon it and it will become weak in and of itself. He portends to advise us that it is as simple as removing a dirty piece of clothing. And he almost mocks us when we can't seem to do it. And mixed in with this are so many other spiritual systems (like Buddhism) that teach that transcendence will free you from all desire and hence the resulting pain that must accompany desire.

Well, I have my desires and my pain. And still I insist that no matter how limited, I do have some spiritual experience. At least I'm a few steps along the path -- and it's not important how far I may or may not have to go. Winter is such a sad time for me...with no sun and my doors shut, I can feel so isolated and cut off from the world. My neighbors are a big part of my life and when I find myself cut off from this I find myself cut off from the world around me. 

And so I can sink deep inside myself and find a favorite and dreaded place. I love this place as it is the source of inspiration -- hence the mystical and artistic life that I now live. But there is an abiding loneliness in this place that exudes so much pain that I wince at the thought of it. Still I find it funny that both can so easily cohabitate in the same space.

Can a transcended man or woman experience sadness? Does he or she get angry (perhaps even unjustly)? Is one capable of mistakes? These are questions that should be answered in the affirmative and this is important to state publicly. So many flock to good teachers (gurus, spiritual advisors, et al.) and when they discover their humanity they get so pissed off. Enlightenment deals with one's perceptions of life and not necessarily the day-to-day situations. At least not in a necessarily overt manner.